So its time I came clean. I’ve had a big battle to fight over the last few years.
I have depression.
Now it is pointless to say I HAD depression because you never fully recover. I’m in the recovery stages and finally feeling stronger but….it is still a daily struggle. You spend day after day wondering will today be the day I have a low again? Will I end up crying and wishing…wishing that the world opened and ate me. The fight is never really over and I hate that it isn’t. I constantly worry and wonder that when my life goes on, when Damien and I finally decide to have children, will I get post natal? Will the baby be more inclined to depression?
I know its probably silly to even think about it that way but I can’t help it. I’ve spent so much time Depression as who I am. I can’t just let it go after so long and I wish that I could separate myself from it. Sadly its so ingrained in who I am that I can’t seem to remove myself from it.
the only problem I really have is that I don’t want my future and my children under that stigma.
But the fight just keeps on going…..and day by day I get stronger
Will it ever really be over?
hunterofwords 